Do vagina's smell?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
