you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
