I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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