This girl is more easily done than said...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
