I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
This is my gift to your gina
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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