Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
