If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
