haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
