I need help removing her.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
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After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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