We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This baby is an asshole
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
