i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize