Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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