no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
