I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
