Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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