he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
