There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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