I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
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I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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