I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
