How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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