Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
