my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize
