So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
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I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
tell me about the eggs
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