i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize