Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize