no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
