i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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