i don't like sucking hair
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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