TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
