My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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