you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
