I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
