I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.