you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
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All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
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From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him