my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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