it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.