if you like me you must not know who I am
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.