apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Well I just put wine in my tea
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.