that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK