Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
from now on my penis is your penis
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?