I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The uberlube is also flammable
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
sex in a hospital.. check
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?