i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.