I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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