Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
