i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize