I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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