You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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