I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
