I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
