Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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