Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
