yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
