We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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