You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize