it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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