you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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