My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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