You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
