Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize