He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
