Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
