I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
