You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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