Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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