Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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