Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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