Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
