he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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